Thursday, February 17, 2011

Shoes!

Normally, when you see someone walking down the street, limping, you assume that they are injured. A ski accident? Overexerting themselves in yoga? Maybe an old soccer injury flaring up? Yeah, not me. At least not this morning.

Ahh yes, for about 6 hours, I as one of *those* women. You know who I’m talking about. You know you’ve looked her up and down and thought to yourself – why would anyone put themselves through that? And more importantly, why would you wear those shoes if you can’t even walk in them? Because, let’s face it, while the look you were going for was more of the tall and slender and cute thing, what you really look like is a linebacker waddling down the street! Because despite that cute top, the silky skirt, the LV bag and your perfect hair and makeup, the fact that your legs are shaking as you teeter on your heels or the fact that you can barely shuffle your feet forward kind of ruins the effect!

Now, let’s get the facts straight, I can walk in heels. In fact, I’ve been known to run in said heels (across a street or to catch a train – not the marathon kind) or dance the night away without problems. But today, for a mere 6 hours, I became that woman. This morning, I decided that since I was wearing all black, I should dress it up with colorful tights. All in all, a great idea, except that this meant wearing black shoes: a scarcity in my closet, surprisingly. It all came down to two pairs: A pair of nine west shoes, which despite their 1.5 inch heel, are uncomfortable, and a pair of BCBG shoes that I bought in New York when I was there celebrating my 25th birthday because, simply, I had fallen in love with them. The BCBG shoes won based on the fact that I hadn’t worn them in a long time.

I easily made it to my car and drove over to BART, and as I took my first steps in my beautiful shoes, I immediately remembered why I had worn them so seldomly in the years that I’ve owned them: they were a size too big and mighty uncomfortable. So uncomfortable in fact, that after the first few steps, I debated getting in my car and driving back home to change, only to realize that there would be no parking if I did this, so I battled on. As I walked to BART, I assumed that everyone must be staring at me, because, well – if I were them, I’d stare too! Come on, a girl, trying to look cute, but barely able to take a step? Yeah, come on, it’s funny!
I honestly felt like I was hobbling, and then a light went off in my head! I could fake an injury! Yes, that’s why I was hobbling (should anyone ask), it’s because I hurt myself in yoga last night. Why didn’t I wear flats then? Simple, I don’t own any. Sneakers? Umm… I.. Stop badgering me with these silly and completely rational questions!

So I had my cover story, and should I fall randomly around the office or on my way to lunch, I could scream, for all those judgy people to hear, that I was injured!
By the time it came to lunch though, I couldn’t do it anymore. By the time I was half way to my favorite lunch place (which, by the way, is an entire block away), I was in such pain that I decided to walk an extra (painful) half a block and buy some new shoes. Yes, you heard right, I bought a new pair of shoes. In fact, not only did I buy a new pair, I wore them out of the store! As I sauntered over to my falafel place, I was so ecstatic to have a pair of shoes that fit, that I was doing (what felt like) the assertive model walk. I thought of the many ways that I could throw these awful, uncomfortable, yet pretty, shoes out, but then I just put them in the bag and figured I’d take them home, because, afterall, they are too pretty to throw out and hold dear memories of my 25th bday.

In other words, in a years time, when all memories of this awful and painful morning have faded from my brain, tune in to part 2 as I make the hobble of pain over to yet another shoe store to repeat this lovely experience 

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Driving in the US

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to drive. Not only do I love to drive, but I’m a darn good driver (though I fear now that I’ve said this out loud, err, written it, I’m jinxing myself and setting myself up for something bad, but let’s hope not). I take pride in the fact that I drive exactly like my father, who taught me to drive, but just less aggressively and possibly faster! That said, I know all the driving rules out there and follow them to a ‘t’, minus those pesky speed limit rules, because rules are made to keep us safe and I think that driving at 75, 80 or 85 mph is perfectly safe! ;)

I’m so happy to be back in the Bay Area, with like minded drivers, but having spent time and driving in Chicago, DC and Arizona over the last couple of years, I’m amazed by just how bad the driving in those places is! So bad and amusing, that I’ve opted to write an entire blog entry dedicated to the topic.

Chicago drivers aren’t bad drivers, but they are rather aggressive. Now, I’m a driver who can find a way to merge where-ever necessary, but these guys put me to shame! The concept of merging is simply lost in Chicago, where people don’t let you in, period. You might have the right of way, but no-one plays by that rule! Most of the time you have to close your eyes while driving (now, don’t *actually* do this or anything…) and hope that everything turns out alright. Also, Chicago, what’s up with the unpredictable traffic? Yes, we have traffic in the Bay Area and the rest of the country, but it generally adheres to the rules of rush hour, where-as in Chicago, traffic can spontaneously erupt on any given day and at any given time and make planning (yes, I’m a planner…) very difficult.

Arizona drivers are a special bunch. While there were many things I appreciated about driving in Arizona, such as being able to get on the freeway and drive at upwards of 85 mph (without the fear of a speeding ticket) or having several signs posted to warn me of an upcoming speed camera, the city drivers don’t actually seem to comprehend rules. I was there during the summer, aka scary rainstorm season, when power and stop lights seem to get knocked out far too often. Normally, when you come to an intersection, and the stop light isn’t working, you are supposed to treat it as a four-way stop. In case you don’t know, that an honest to G-d rule. So when I came to a light that was clearly knocked out, I stopped, only to be met with people behind me honking furiously, thinking I had stopped simply for the thrill of it! There were also the cases where I would stop and have to inch out into the intersection rather carefully because other drivers, well, simply didn’t. Nevermind the fact that with the evening downpours, people would still drive like maniacs down the roads (not safe, hence, not ok!).

And now we come to DC. Where-as Arizona drivers seem to not know the rules, DC drivers seem to have a few rules mixed up. For instance, a yield sign means that one should drive carefully and keep an eye out for other cars, but really does not mean “Come to a full stop and wait until there are no cars within a one mile radius before going!” However, a red stop light (as well as a stop sign), do actually mean Stop! In case you’re curious, a yellow light most certainly does not mean speed up, nor does a red light translate into ‘if you can speed up and get through the light in the next few seconds (which can be 5 seconds at times!!!), please go on ahead’. Oh one more lesson for DC area drivers: a double yellow solid line in the middle of the road does not mean ‘feel free to U-turn’, in fact, it means the exact opposite! And funnily enough, for the number of cops that are out there patrolling the highways for people “dangerously” speeding over the 55mph limit (trust me, it’s as painful as it sounds!), I didn’t see a single person get pulled over for breaking the red light or stop or u-turn rules!

And now we come to the lovely Bay Area, home of the ‘California’ stop and crazy speeding drivers! Ahh, how I’ve missed you all! This is refreshing because people actually follow rules here! A red light, magically does mean stop here! A stop means, well, actually, a stop here means come to a leisurely stop and keep rolling through, but really, compared to the rest of the country, this is something I can put up with! Yay for the Bay Area where people drive fast and follow most rules! Yet another reason for me to have greatly missed the Bay Area and be so happy to be back!